Week two opens with our adorable Cat, who is wearing what looks like a red dust skirt wrapped around her like a toga. Bad wardrobe department! BAD!!! The dancers perform their eight counts. Oscar’s was way better than her dance for her life from last week; she needs to do more of that, and less of the Drunken Riverdance imitation. Giggle: Cat asks “I know you can’t look surprised any more, Mary; do you have any more revelations for us?”, and informs her that all of her girlfriends agreed that they loved Mary all the more after the Botox confession. I concur! Live out loud, Mary Murphy!
Our guest judge is Lil’ C. I can tell you right now that I’m going to be doing a loooooot of paraphrasing and guessing of his meaning. Most of the time, I don’t understand why he’s chosen certain words or the order in which he’s put them. Oooh! I want to create an iPhone app that will translate English into Lil’ C speak. “I would like some coffee” will be “The essence of miracle flows, energy compression feeding and hot warm. It was buuuuck. “ C tells us that he practiced critiquing while watching last week’s show. That’s the kind of dedication I like!
Our first couple is Evan and Randi. This week, each partner will reveal “the one fact America should know” about the other. Evan shares Randi’s perfectly reasonable adoration of her dog. He notes that she treats it like a person, and even calls to talk to it on speaker phone. I would totally do that if I were away from my Maximums! Grrr, Evan, you best not be implying that this is outlandish behavior! Randi shares that Evan is a “gear head “who built his own car from scratch. Really?? That is impressive. They are shaking their tailfeathers with Louis by doing the jive. Randi is excited to be able to show their dorky side. I like dorks, so I should like this. They perform well, I think. Evan does a fabulous split leap over her. They are cute. Lil C wants Evan to be a little more explosive, and calls Randi a firecracker. He likes it. The fun meter gets back up to 15. Mary calls them little powerhouses that are built for the jive; she found Evan was sloppy, but Randi was great. Nigel basically concurs.
Commercials, and oh my gosh. What is this “More to Love” show? Are you kidding me? Just when you think Fox has hit the nadir, down they go…
So Melissa has been married for four years, and her sister married her husband’s brother. I will bet good money right now that they swing. You know I’m right!! Ade’s fact is that his name is crazy long and hard to pronounce. Snooze. When they learn they are doing jazz this week, they say they are excited “unless it’s with Sonya, then we’re going to die. “ So of course it’s with Sonya. Both Melissa and Sonya seem concerned that Melissa will not be able to abandon her ballet training enough to perform the dance the way Sonya intends. They perform, and I like it. They have a more controlled style than Sonya probably wanted, but with the jerky choreography, it actually really worked. Lil’ C calls it buck—his highest compliment, and Ade and Melissa do a three way chest bump with Cat. LOVE! Mary says it's time for tough love… because it’s TOUGH to find anything she didn’t LOVE about it. You had me, Mary Murphy!! (Shakes fist at TV). Sonya is wearing these magnificent huge feather earrings. My god, where do they find these things?!?!?
Caitlyn and Jason. Jason’s fact is that he was obsessed with Michael Jackson as a child; grainy video confirms. Caitlyn uses baby voices and also does an amazing (and grating) imitation of a velocoraptor. This week they are dancing a Shane Sparks hip hop routine. They giggle about how this has to be sexy. Y’all made out last week!! This should be nothing new! I think the performance lacks energy, although Caitlyn seems to be channeling young Britney Spears. Lil C says he didn’t love it; he thought it was missing “nectar”. Mary says it was like Britney and Michael Jackson—two totally different dance types. She didn’t like that it wasn’t synchronized when it should have been. Nigel says that he thinks the dancers captured what Shane intended, and that they looked good, and he liked it. Whatevs, Nigel, we all know you’re a sucker for the cute blondes!
Jeanette and Brandon. America needs to know that Jeanette has bad teeth? Really? Apparently America needs to know that Brandon has never worked out a day in his life. (My hubby calls BS on this). This week they are doing disco!!! Oh, I think they will be good! They have issues in rehearsal. This means nothing; they alllways show it looking like a disaster in rehearsal, and it allllways turns out well. We’re onto you, producers! They perform, and wow, this is fast. !!! I LOVE IT!!!! It’s full of spectacular lifts and spins. They look like they are having so much fun!!! Now I want to dance too!! Lil ‘C says some crazy Lil’ C thing—I have no idea-- but says he found it extremely amazing, and fully praises the dancers. Oh, I didn’t even notice that Jeanette tripped! Mary says she’s never seen a disco done that fast, and declares that they nailed it. She stands up and whoos, and I feel like a train is coming, but she stops short of that. Boo. Also, she brings back the “Not” jokes, which I think is very ill advised. Nigel says if he could scream like that, he would. He thought it was tremendous. He also warns Brandon that Mia is choreographing the group dance tomorrow. I read that there was actually a LOT more drama regarding Brandon than was shown, so…this should be interesting.
Oscar makes spit bubbles. Vitolio is obsessed with motorcycles. They recap their disappointing bottom three finish. We see a clip of Oscar’s rabid raccoon shake (love, it, Hil!) and Vitolio’s Alvin Aileyesque solo. Louis has choreographed a waltz that is full of pain, and was inspired by Vitolio’s story. Vitolio cries during rehearsal. From the opening move, I like it, and Oscar begins to redeem herself in my eyes. It’s so fluid it’s like they are swimming, but that could also be the effect of the Enya music, blue lighting and costumes, and bubble water kind of background. Mary is breathless. Ooooh she’s crying!!!! Oh now Vitolio is crying! Now I’m crying, dammit! Lil’ C says that the choppy steps were “Compensated for” by the authenticity. Nigel says they both brought a quality to the routine rarely performed on this show, and declares them a different couple than last week.
Up next is the couple to beat: Kayla and Max. They discuss how they got great critiques last week, but that adds pressure this week. Their choreographer is Brian Friedman, who is back on the show. Yay! We learn their interesting facts; Max is a housewife, and Kayla is a master texter. Eh. They rehearse; the premise of the dance is that she’s a princess, and he’s coming to dance for her, but he really wants her throne. They perform, and… it is AMAZING!!!! I love every single second of it. Cat calls Max a “low down dirty rotten rat from ratville on the way to rat town”, in the most loving manner possible. The judges adore the routine, but are more effusive in their praise of Kayla than Max. I think he deserves more credit—he did really well this week!
Karla and Jonathan. America needs to know that Karla is a bad ass hip hop dancer. She’s a member of the boggiebops (?), which apparently is a really good dance crew. Jonathan is a singer, and a bad one at that. This week they are performing contemporary with Stacy Tookey. I have no idea who this is. Rehearsal footage shows them falling all over the place; again, we can be pretty sure this won’t happen during the performance. They perform, and it’s danced well, but I found it a bit snores. The judges totally disagree with me. Mary says Jonathan did that style better than his own; something she’s never said on this show. She declares it amazing, and says she’s dizzy. Oh and this Stacy woman is apparently the best choreographer from SYTYCD-Canada. Nigel declares it “incredible, how they both performed”. Lil c thought it was beautiful, and declares it buck. I apparently just didn’t get it.
Philip is an engineering physics major who had 40 reptiles in his room growing up. Jeanine has a teddy bear that she loves, and dresses to match her outfits. At 18…? Someone needs to get her a tiny dog. Anyway, they are doing the tango. Choreographer Tony is surprised by their lack of ballroom knowledge. Why he’s surprised, I don’t know. Why would you assume that every dancer is well versed in every type of dance? During rehearsal Phillip gets kicked in the family jewels. Yikes! Tony whispers to the camera that he’s nervous; Jeanine shrieks “WE CAN HEAR YOU!!!!” I find the performance moderately entertaining. The judges don’t really love. Lil’ C tell Phillip “A lack of confidence is the heaviest anchor you can put upon your art.” I think. Mary says it wasn’t great. We get a replay of Phillip grimacing when he tries to lift his partner. It makes me laugh. Nigel says it wasn’t good technically, but it was great entertainment.
Ashley and Kupono. Kupono has ODC. Ashley projectile vomited over her first grade classmates. Really folks, you should at least try and censor the information that you put out there! They too are doing a Shane Sparks routine. They have been so lucky! Wade AND Shane!?!?! They perform to the Black Eyed Peas—is SYTYCD contractually obligated to use a Black Eyed Peas song once a show? Because they seriously do. During the fast part of the routine, it’s impossible to tell if they are in synch because the camera is zooming and looming and ahhh! STAY STILL CAMERA! Mary says it was just okay. Lil C says Kupono struggled, and Ashley couldn’t mirror, and there was no synchronization. At least someone could tell! Nigel states that he was underwhelmed.
Lastly, a HUGE thank you to all of you for indulging me in this! I decided to write these because my very good friend, co-worker, and SYTYCD enthusiast went on maternity leave, and I was left with no one with whom I could discuss this fantastic show. I decided to post the first one on FB so she could easily read it, and was so excited to find so many fellow fans! I love all of the discussion, so… thank you!!! My predictions for the bottom three are: Ashley and Kupono, Karla and Jonathan, and Melissa and Ade. It's getting hard--they are all good! Thoughts?
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