You're so 2000 and Late: So You Think You Can Dance Episode #7

Our opening number! I don’t think I’m deep enough to understand the artistic vision of this Shane Sparks routine. The dimly lit stage is littered with trash. Dancers dressed as hobos carry signs that say “will dance for food”, beg the cameras for money, and pretend to be cold. Then five guys in shiny jackets burst in and perform a hip hop routine, as the hobo dancers crawl toward them. They blow green glitter on the hobos, who then turn into futuristic Laker Girls of the Thunderdome (I guess?), complete with panda eyeliner. Apparently Caitlin is their leader. They are dancing to “Boom Boom Pow”, a song that makes a clear reference to 2008, so maybe it’s not supposed to be futuristic. Was this the style last year? If so, J. Crew has a long way to go to catch up; I saw no such garments next to my madras skirts or Jackie cardigans, I can tell you that. Now I can’t even tell what’s going on because the camera guys are apparently on crack, for all of their running around and jiggling and whatnot. I hate that the cameras are always on the move or zooming in on someone’s fingernail or something, and I can’t see the actual dance. I can’t imagine that’s how the choreographers envisioned these dances would be viewed! When I am president of the world, my first order of business will be to require at least one stationary camera present during SYTYCD filming. 

We get to see how the partners got along for their first week together. Chicken noises and sweat discussions ensue. 

The first three couples to learn their fate: Kayla and Max, Phillip and Jeanine, and Evan and Randi. I refuse to believe that any of these couples are in danger. Kayla and Max are sent to safety first, followed by Randi and Evan. Phillip and Jeanine assume they are in the bottom three and look dismayed, but Cat announces they are safe as well. They freak out cutely, and then clean up the cards that Cat threw in the air after announcing their results. I actually really like that they were thoughtful enough to pick them up and offer them back to Cat. It’s the little things!

The next four couples are up. During Jason and Caitlyn’s recap, we get to see Mary’s “I’m so happy that Bollywood came to Hollywood, yes I am!” screech from last night. I know her shtick wears thin with some people, but I love me Mary Murphyisms. BTW, that was quite a smooch Caitlyn and Jason had at the end of that dance! They are safe, as are Melissa and Ade. Kupono is rocking this yellow fur half scarf that matches his socks. I don’t want him to be in the bottom three, but I do want to see what kind of dance can be performed while wearing eight thousand necklaces and high top Converse. I won’t find out tonight, because Kupono and Ashley are safe; Paris and Tony are the couple in danger. 

Our last three couples are up next. They recap Jeanette and Brandon’s foxtrot. It was really nice; I wish I could have seen this through last night’s flood warning announcement! Asuka, Vitolio, Jonathan, and Karla round out our bottom three couples. And must DANCE FOR THEIR LIVES! 

While they prepare, we have the first in a series of dances that will be performed on the show, highlighting different styles of dance. Tonight is a tango performed by Miriam Larici and Leonardo Barrioneuvo. Google tells me they are pretty much the world’s best tangoists (is that a word?), but is it mandatory to have those looks on their faces? Leonardo looks like he’s just discovered a life form and he’s half amazed, half terrified. Miriam looks sleepy.

Dances for lives! Paris is eh. She’s not a bad dancer, but I don’t understand how she stood out in Vegas at all. Also, I hate that the audience screams the countdown of the last ten seconds of the solos. So disconcerting! Tony comes out and I am not impressed. Honestly, I think I pretty much do this dance myself after a few drinks . Auska looks and performs like a drunk, washed up can-can dancer; I think her solo is terrible. Vitolio displays the power, huge leaps and great turning that he showed during auditions. Karla does the best of the three female dancers, I think. Jonathan does a great job too, and may rival Shawn Johnson in terms of gymnastic prowess. Hmm. I could have sworn Karla and Jonathan would go home tonight; I think I was wrong. 

As the judges deliberate, Sean Kingston performs. See those backup dancers, contestants? One day, all of that will be yours. 

The judges reach their verdict, and Tony and Paris are sent home. I’m sort of surprised, because they seemed so intent on Tony making the top 20. I was sure they wanted him on tour. I can’t wait for next week! I’m praying Toni Basil makes an appearance as a guest judge.