She's the One: So You Think You Can Dance Episode #23

I’ll start with a confession—I’ve been reluctant to post this, because I’m really going to miss our weekly SYTYCD discussion, and I don’t want it to end! But after long last, here it is.

Our top 20 open the show with a reprisal of Tyce’s “Brand New Day” routine. I’ve already forgotten who half of these people are! I was in The Wiz in 9th grade, and to this day, I feel compelled to grapevine and wave my arms to and fro when I hear this song. This is great and all, but I still think our version of The Wiz would kick this version’s butt stage left, right, and center. You heard me. Go Bulldogs!

Cat greets us, and informs us that there were 21.6 million votes. Tonight’s winner will win $250K, and the cover of dance magazine. No contract for a role in the next Step It Up movie, then? Bummer.

Tonight we have Lil’ C, a 50’s glam Mia, Tyce snapping it up, lovely and perfect Debbie Allen, debonair Adam, Mary rocking pigtails and a gaudy as hell necklace, and of course Nigel.

Our flashback of the auditions starts out with…Sex. Lord, let it end with him. Once again we see the whole naughty ballerina thing, Vitolio grabbing his crotch as he runs out with his ticket to Vegas, and Mary crying over Brandon’s solo. They also show the judges fight over Brandon, Ryan vs. Evan, and Natalie not getting through. I wonder if she’ll try out again. Oh I forgot about Miss Washington. She actually made the show, didn’t she?! Flashes of the dances this season, and when we see a crying Mia say “I wish I had the strength that you had for my Daddy” I lose my you know what and start bawling. Again! God.

Super long review of last night’s show. If there were an Emmy award for the show most capable of filling time with pointless footage, SYTYCD would surely be in the running. That whole Brandon Kayla dance was so good, but so strange. Is Brandon about to get an autopsy? Was Kayla supposed to be some sort of dominatrix mortician? Let me tell you, this is EXACTLY the type of funeral home I want to go to when the good Lord calls me home. They pretty much show the whole show again, so if you missed last night’s show, really—you’re no longer behind.

The judges introduce their favorite routines of the season. Oooh I want to guess! I think we’ll see the Cancer dance, the Addiction dance, the comic book cartoonish Wade routine with Brandon and Janette, B&J’s disco, and Kayla and Max’s samba. The first one up is the NappyTabs routine that Philip and Jeanine performed the first week. Wow, I don’t remember this AT ALL. OH now I remember this. Kind of. It’s sort of snore? Eh…I was less than impressed with the quality of the routines this season, so whatevs. You know, the top four had to perform five new routines last night, I hope they had a few weeks to rehearse these, and didn’t have to cram it all in this week. Anyway, the dance is good! I kind of think they pick these to highlight the people going on tour; maybe this was the only decent routine Philip had?

Oh YAY our next routine is the tango that Brandon and Janette did! I LOVED this! I swear, Janette’s legs are like a pair of Wusthof knives. It’s still amazing. I miss Janette, and now I’m all bitter again that she didn’t make the final four.

The charming and lovely Debbie Allen tells us her favorite dance of the season was the Louis van Amstel waltz with Asuka and Vitolio. Huh. Well, if Debbie says it’s her favorite dance, it must be the best! Oh, and this WAS great! It still has that floatingish quality that it did before. Holy crap though; Vitolio practically throws Oscar right off the damn stage at the end. Yikes!

Mary says one of her favorite numbers was Jeanine and Jason’s necklace dance. Much talk about the kiss. It’s still great and they kiss like they mean it; it garners a standing ovation from the judges and a thrilled Travis Wall.

Mia’s favorite routine of the season—besides her own, I’m sure-- is Max’s and Kayla’s samba from the very first show. FINALLY someone picks one of my favorites. Mia’s eyeshadow matches Kayla’s dress! I have to say, tonight, this dance lacks the spark that it had during the first show—it just seems like they’re going through the motions.

The top four dancers meet up with Kerrington to view the remake of Fame, which comes out this fall. Debbie Allen tells us that the time is right now, and she’s happy to bring the brand back to life. Well, tonight is just turning into a trip down my musical theater participation’s memory lane! But my main memory from Fame is being run over by a piece of scenery. Oh and that crazy dance I had to do with Sean Dugan, who went on to appear in Oz on HBO. Anywho… I swear, if Debbie Allen started a religion, I would chuck the Catholic Church and join that congregation in about a nanosecond. Ha, when discussing the movie, Debbie totally forgets the director’s name. I’m sure he appreciated that. She gives us that iconic “If you want fame, it costs. And you start paying here, in sweat” speech that she delivered in the original Fame. Preach the gospel, Debbie! Oh and she gets to bring another dance back, so she picks Calle Ocho. I didn’t know we could bring group routines back! Once again, it’s steamy and fun.

Nigel tells us that he got invited down to Australia to choose their top 20 dancers. Their winner is with us tonight to perform a solo choreographed by Sonya. She dances to a song that I think we heard on the Kill Bill soundtrack—that “bang bang I shot him down song”. It’s actually really hard to see the dancer, because of the distracting moving graphics in the background.

Lil’ C tells us if he has to pick a favorite routine, it will be Jai Ho all day. I have to say that after this show aired, I downloaded this song, because I loved the dance as well. Except I accidently got the Pussycat Dolls version, and it might have been the best mistake I ever made, because it is fan freaking tastic. I think I may “accidently” purchase the entire PCD catalogue now. This reminds me, I have to sign up for those Bollywood dance classes. Oh, there is more kissing in this routine. Wow, that Jason is a little man whore!

The top four FINALLY come out. Jesus, it’s been an hour!!! Judging by Evan’s costume, we’re going to see the butt dance soon. We’re going to learn who is in fourth place, and you can tell Evan is just ready for it. And the 4th is…Kayla. Huh. I read a review by someone who was in the audience of the performance show, and apparently Kayla’s family was really upset by Nigel’s “you have no personality” comments. Kayla tells us she’ll remember working with Mia, and she will miss everyone. Well, you’re not going to miss them too much, because this is the finale, and they are going on tour, so…there’s that. No need to mourn and cry in your pillow.

With a saucy “I’m a butt man!” confession, Adam chooses the butt dance. HEH. Oh, is Randi wearing Louboutins? Anyway this dance is just odd, like it was back then. I’m glad Evan got to perform his favorite dance, though.

Mary introduces the Paso Doble from last night. Huff. We JUST saw this one!

Evan comes back out, and we learn that the dancer in third place is…Evan. He looks totally prepared for this. The judges all look really relieved. Cat’s wrap dress looks SO comfortable. Evan tells us that everyone chanting his name last night was amazing. He thanks his friends and family, and says—genuinely, I believe—that he never thought he would make it this far. Well, that makes a lot of us, I think. Sonya appears to be in the aisle for some reason. Was she kowtowing or something? Evan fights back tears.

Nigel tells us one of his favorite moments was the night Mary admitted to using Botox; prompting Mary to shriek “WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!?! THIS night was going perfect; it was classy, it was everything I ever dreamed!!!” Mary, you KNOW it had to come up at some point. On a serious note, he picks the addiction dance. Oh, good, this was incredible. I love that moment where Kayla reaches up, and Kupono forces her back down. Kupono looks absolutely diabolical. Where was that strength during his other dances!!! Mia is in tears afterward...is it okay to cry over your own dance?

Back by popular demand is the Rage Boys crew. Still cute.

Tyce introduces the Doriana’s routine for Brandon and Janette. LOVED THIS! Great then, great now. I think that life where Brandon holds Janette in the splits over his head was one of the great moments on this show.

Our last dance of the night is the cancer dance, of course. Mia introduces it, saying that it broke her down in front of millions of people, and it also broke millions of people down. Tyce tells us that the friend for whom he choreographed this dance called him today, and told him she is cancer free. Oh, I love happy endings! I swear not four counts of music pass before my tears start a-wellin up. Oh Lance Bass is in the audience. What on earth has he been up to?

Before the break, we see that dance to “One” from a chorus line that does NOT have kicks. Oh but then the judges come out!! FUN! What I love the most are the looks of pure joy and happiness on the judges faces. They really look like there is no place on earth they would rather be. The screaming and standing ovation go on and on. I clap along at home.

And now, we’ll finally learn who the winner is!! We see their journey. Nigel says he thought these two would be standing there, and he already knows the winner, and he thinks it’s deserved. That is just BS; I think he should have to wait, like the rest of us! And our favorite dancer is…Jeanine! I’m okay with his; I wanted Brandon, but she’s great. She cutely says she never thought she would be giving an acceptance speech on the Kodak, but thanks the Academy.

And I thank YOU, dear readers, for SUCH a fun season. I cannot tell you how much I’ve loved hearing from everyone. See you all September 9th!!