Season Six is Heee-re! HELLO-oooo!

Welcome back to So You Think You Can Dance! Today’s auditions are in LA, and our guest judge is Adam, heart! Cat notes that the bar is set super duper high, and right as she says “the judges are looking for near perfection”, they zoom in on this girl’s giant chest. Sigh. Yes, exactly.

This season starts off just the way I like it—with a crazy. First up is Cole. As Nigel says “Cue Music”, Cole begins move—I wouldn’t really call it dance—before the music starts. A confused Nigel again calls “Cue…” until he realizes this is THAT kind of a performance. Cole runs around the stage reaching and searching and shouting word. The judges try to cover their smirks and shake with contained laughter. I’ve got to be honest; you put this dance to The Fray’s “You Found Me” and you have a version of most of the solos performed last season. Nigel commends him for trying something different, and says it was very “off off Broadway”; Adam snarks “Yeah, like Cleveland off”. It’s a no for Cole

Up next is Mollee. Mollee was a dancer in High School Musicals 1, 2 and 3. We get our first hard luck story of the season; this one about how her mom has made all these sacrifices for her, etc. Sigh. Maybe I needed more time in between seasons to get over my annoyance about the “So you think you can have a tragic life and still dance” tone the auditions always take. Mollee is really good, and she’s adorable. During her audition, Adam comments “she is SO this show”. BTW, I wish I could listen to Adam commentate on every aspect of life. That’s kind of why I followed him on Twitter; unfortunately, all he tweets about is how much he loves Miley Cyrus. Anyway, I will bet here and now that Mollee makes the top 20.

We briefly see David and Amanda (I totally remember her from last season!) and Brandon (not that Brandon) perform, receive accolades, and get put through to Vegas.

And back for more this year is Ryan, Evan’s brother. Whatevs, we already know his story and we know he gets to Vegas. I will say right now I don’t think he’ll make the top 20.

Bianca/Fantasia told us that she wouldn’t be back this season. She lied!

Now Ryan does the same thing the first crazy did; he doesn’t dance to music, but speaks in rhyme. He’s a tap dancer, though, so I suppose this makes sense? Now I’m bored; we already saw this audition last season. Adam gives him a standing ovation, says it was the most special and unique performance, and calls it the best audition he’s ever seen on the show. Um, it was good and all, but I don’t know about that.

Biancasia is prodded by the judges to have a tap battle or trade or whatever the kids call it these days. She and Ryan go at it, and it’s great. So…if they put her through to Vegas, they have to let her in the top 20. It’s just getting cruel at this point. She’s been in the top 32 about eight thousand times now.

Oooh, here comes a crazy. Christopher Aguilar tells us he wants to produce a film caused Drum Song? Dancing poorly but enthusiastically to a medley of songs from Chicago, he does manage to inspire the judges to display their best jazz hands. He tells the judges that he wants to make the main characters in Chicago men and see how that changes it. Uh…kind of completely, no? Adam is not a fan of this idea, and I have no idea how a movie about making Roxie and Thelma men has anything to do with a “Drum Song”…I think I must be missing something. And someone needs to tell Christopher Aguilar that crack is whack.

More people make it through to Vegas. Hmm. I wonder if Natalie will be back this year?

We’re back with Amber, sharing the story about how her mom got paralyzed. My husband notes “At least this story has a point. I hate those ones where they are like “My mom got in an accident, and she got a scratch…she’s okay now, but …she was bleeding pretty good for a day.” Her momma tells us watching Amber dance gives her joy. Honey, before you take one step, I will pronounce: Vegas for Amber! The judges give her great feedback; Amber’s momma cries. And while Beyonce’s “Halo” swells in the background, the judges tell her she’s through to Vegas. Good lord, they are laying it on THICK tonight.

Montage of contemporary female dancers, all of whom seem way better than Jeanine. I liked her just fine, but I’m still in shock that she won.

Christina brings her dance coach to perform a salsa routine with her. He’s not auditioning. She’s good, but she’s no Janette. However, the judges adore her. Nigel asks Pepe (the dance coach) why he’s not auditioning; he replies that he doesn’t have the training Christina does, and Nigel tells him that he’s “bloody good”. Take a hint, Pepe, and get yourself on this show! Christina makes it through to Vegas. She clearly got the memo that you HAVE to have a hard luck story, so she makes sure we know her ticket to Vegas is for her “Daddy up in heaven”.

Clips of the bad dancers. To be honest, they aren’t THAT bad. The one kind of overweight guy pulled off a double pirouette.

Philip, another tapper, is here. Apparently he and Ryan were roommates while on tour for “Fosse”. Wow. These people are not joking around. They’re already professionals! Cat digs for dirt on Ryan; asking if he has stinky feet, etc., and now we all know that Ryan has a smiley face on his buttocks. Things I didn’t need to know.

We see none of the choreography round. With six weeks of audition shows, that’s okay. And Mia is our guest judge next week! Let the claws be unsheathed!